about

CoffeeMonster Baltimore

Veteran in the basement rap scene of South Baltimore. Low budget production and equipment - he keep it gully. Lyrically tends not to stray to far from the following topics: coffee, the Ravens, partying, and cunnilingus. Enjoy!

contact / help

Contact CoffeeMonster

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Bedrock [Feat. Lloyd]
Gem stones,
I got Flint Stones
Im friends with Fred
And drive girls crazy like they off their meds
5 Wizzzurds mascot
You can call me G-Man
Cuz I hit the g-spot
A-bombs Japan
Kelly Wash squirrel dance
10 Just tryna get my nuts off
I am the opposite of Ricola
Ill make ya cough
Im a coffee drinker
But Ill tea bag ya
15 Sexual affixiator
Here to plastic bag ya
Or put ya in a noose
Call ya David Carradine
My dick is Mike Jordan
20 My balls Magic and Kareem
We team up
Call us the dream team
Or call me an artist
I work in semen
25 Aint no Jew Bread
I rise not unleven
First got my dick wet
Playin 7 minutes in heaven
Ha Not Seventh Heaven
30 No Camden Reverend
When will they comprehend?
32 I dont want no girlfriend, amen


Hook
Oh baby, Ill be stuck to you like glue, baby
Wanna spend it all on you, baby
My room is the g-spot
Call me Mr. Flintstone I can make ya bed rock
I can make ya bed rock
I can make ya bed rock girl
I can make ya bed rock
I can make ya bed rock

Verse 2 CoffeeMonster
1 Time to Fleetwood Mac ya
Girl go your own way
Sway, Sway, like my dick
Is Red Stripe - Hooray
5 Dome shots
Like Roger Klotz I
got man-naise for Patti
But this aint no Doug Funnie plot
Whiskey shots, Pickle Joose
10 Lip of snus, pussy loose
Comin in like Orlando
hey Zeus
Girl got caboose
Grey goose and a deuce deuce
15 Get ya legs spread wide
Make the angle obtuse
Simple geometry
Hope ya know ya ABCs
Time for a spelling bee
20 Show me how you F-U-C
K is that A-O-K
Deflower your bouquet
I know so cliché
How bout some croquet
25 Yo legs is wickets And my dick sells tickets
Call it Kevin Garnett
Damn I need a cigarette
Make me an omelette
You so wet, no sweat
30 I know youll never forget me
When will they comprehend,
I dont want no girlfriend, amen


Hook


Verse 3 CoffeeMonster

Bed Rock, Dewey Cox
White Sox, Red Sox
Nah just a Lil Giant
Here to thaw your Ice Box
5 I flip through shawties
Like I work with a spatula
Spend the night with me and
In the morning get Count Cockula
No Lucky Charms or Cheerios
10 Im talkin felatio
So forego the small talk
Bitch you aint my bro
But I will be-STOW
On you my beast YO
15 Hit it like a free throw
Re-hit it like a Type-O
T-Pains on a boat
With his flip flopies
Im a motorboat ya
20 Get ya chest all sloppy
I got the camera all set
Cuz ho ya lookin foxy
Aint Lady Ga Ga
But Im the Pa-pa-Pa-parazzi
25 Just ask Nelly
He tell ya get ya Eagle on
Wheres R Kelly?
Bitch bout to get peed on
Give April a golden shower and
30 Miss May Im bout to plow her
When will they comprehend?
I dont want no girlfriend, amen
Track Name: Coffee and Weezer
Verse 1[Coffee]
Party in the bar, Pa-pa-party in the streets
Im a party animal just let me off the leash
I party harty, I sip bacardi
So whens the party start? Choo know I never arrive tardy
And where are the woman who tryna get naughty?
Sweet tea, whis-key, baby lets smoke green trees
Chablis, bay breeze, or some sex on the beach
Lets buy out the bar Im on a partyin spree (spree)

Hook

Verse 2[Coffee]
I like my Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-Coffee
Rumpleminze, Rumpleminze, in my coffee
I like my Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-Coffee
Rumpleminze, Rumpleminze in my coffee
Screw rehab because I love my addiction
I got a conviction to my alcohol affliction
Dont judge me I aint in your jurisdiction
You like my diction girl cuz Im on a mission
For one thing thats leave the club with something
A lil chicken wing, its Waynes World schwing (schwing)
Let you in on one thing Im bigger than Yao Ming
And I know its winter time but we can fuck till Spring
Jus gotta press pause, because

Hook

Verse 3[Coffee]
Before I was even born I partied like Ron Artest
I think my Moms placenta was filled with grape Burnetts
Maybe not Grape maybe it was that Pink Lemondate
Baby I throw down harder than Duh-Wayne Waaaaade
I just like to party this aint no masquerade
Its just whats in the cards not talking Old Maid
Or Charades that so clichéd
Time to upgrade to a party Crusade (Im faded)
Track Name: Time After Time [Feat. Bougey Rosette]
Verse 1[Coffee]
Take it back to the 80s and Land Before Time
Back to when I aint got a dime and no girls were dropping me lines
But times have come and gone
Just ask ya girl who come and gone
Its candlelight dinner and bottle of wine
Then you know the curtains drawn
Rockstar girl on the mic she shine
Now lean back girl Ill mow ya lawn
Thats me, Im a cunning linguist
If you aint get it, Im talking cunnilingus

Verse 2[Bougey Rosette]
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
you're calling to me, I can't hear
what you've said
Then you say go slow
I fall behind
the second hand unwinds

Hook[Bougey Rosette]
If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time
x2

Verse 3[Bougey]
After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm OK
[Coffee]
Im OK, You OK, ifs Coffee and Bougey
Find us with a bottle a Jose up in No Way Jose
Off the head like a toupee kill the mic D.O.A.
Carve up pussy like Chef Ramsey or kill it like Jon Benet
Its Flav on the mic girl I got what ya need
Dirty rhymes like hos they so unclean
I'm a hot shot not Charlie Sheen
I'm denim Dan I rock skinny jeans
so just garnish my flow like a child support lien
or grab me a brew cuz I'm a coffee bean
[Bougey]
Coffee, go slow, I fall behind, my second hand unwinds
[Coffee]
Bougey, you lost ya mind, I'm here to grind a bust a nut in due time

Hook/Outro [Bougey Rosette]
Track Name: Party Animal
Hook
Who’s a party animal?
Who’s a party animal?
Youza party animal
This MothaFucka
Who’s a party animal?
Who’s a party animal?
Youza a party animal
This Mothafucka
X2

I’m a party animal just let me off the leash
I party in the bar, I party in the streets
I party with the creeps, I party with the freaks
Suck the life out the party like it’s a teat
I party with the whites, I party with the blacks
I party in Dewey where there no sales tax
I party with the Brits, I party with the Japs
I party with the dogs and I party with the cats
I party with the boys I party with the girls
I party long after you start to hurl
I party with the rich, I party with the poor
I party with buds and I party with Coors
I party with islam, I party with the jews
I party with a sixer of Dragon Joose
I party with you, I don’t give a shit
I party with Coffee and Rumpleminze

Hook

I party with the birds, I party with a fox
I party with the nerds, I party with the Jocks (No Homo)
I party all night till the break of dawn
I party like wild thing Rick Vaughn
I party with your mom, I party with your dad
I party with bombs, they ain’t bad
I party with Virgins, party with whores
I party in church, I party at Scores
I party in the front, I party in the back
I party in your mouth, I party on your rack
I party on a boat, I party on a dock
Check my watch its party 0’clock
I party in the house, I party in the club
I love to party, its my favorite drug
I party so high, high high above
I party with Bob we got on love

Hook x2

I party with hippies, party with hipsters
I’m party with Cam, I party with the Dipsters
I party to the left to the left to the left
The hired me to write for party digest
I party with bums, I party with crack heads
I party with anyone except redheads
I party with cops, I party with the feds
Follow the leader, to the party I led
To the party I led
X16

Hook

I party with the Bloods, I party with the Crypts
My life story is a party script
I party with Juniors, party with Seniors
I party in the mountains and party at the shore
I party with yuppies, party with guidos
I party with the Martians in my UFZero
I party with the healthy, Party with a cripple
If you got fake boobs, I party with ya nipple
I party with a free man, party with a convict
I party with the pimps and hoes turnin’ tricks
I party with you, I don’t give a shit
I party with Coffee and Rumpleminze
Coffee and Rumpleminze
Track Name: Mount Up [Feat. C.Dot]
We the Cherry Bomb Squad
The Hide yo Mom Squad
Lets take it to the playground
We the Cherry Bomb Squad
We play with ya daughters
We smash ya Moms
We go balls deep
We the Cherry Bombs
Track Name: Age of Innocence (Passion Pit)
In defense of an age of innocence
Dispense past-tense Coffee laments
Before I flip’d Birds, I watch’d Big Bird
I Napped on the couch watching Oscar the Grouch
pimps slap hos, and I slap bracelets
Before Uncle Jesse got a face lift
Cowabunga Dood, Call me Michelangelo
I’m a super brotha call me Mario

Axe me do you have it, Guts?
I got this 5 dolla bowl cut up at Supercuts
Step by Step, I Doulbe Dare Ya
To holler at my girl DJ Tanner
Life pass by you watching Nickelodeon
And I’m just on my Big Wheel Speedin’
I can take you on my Rainbow Readin’
With Little Debbie we Oatmeal Creamin’
Call ya Kelly ya can call me Zach
Cuz every girl in town wanna have my Rugrats
Patti Mayonaise you I know I Skeet-Skeetered
Or in the van with Cody smokin’ reefer
If Steve Urkel cuffs Laura Winslow
Then I cop your girl like Carl Winslow
Bro, I ain’t neva steal your G.I. JOE
Just kick yo ass in Street Fighter Tubro

Meka leka hi meka hi nee ho
Pee wee playhourse my fav’rite show
It was outta this world just like ALF
Hate that guy on the Simpsons named Ralph
Grab my Nintendo I’m tryna hunt ducks
Bullets flyin’ like Goldberg knuckle pucks
Form a flying V and chant quack quack
Knock em out like Tyson if ya lil Mac
(Knock eme out like Tyson if ya Lil Mac)
Rocked overalls, they Osh Kosh B’Gosh
Had a Orange Crush On Spice Girl Tosh
The pink one was my favorite Power Ranger
And I never understood Balky in Perfect Strangers
Ain’t no dirtball just a garbage pail kid
With Tongue twistin’ rhymes I spit Mad Libs
Fund dips, licrorice, and pixie stix
Just getcha Sugar fix with Kool-Aid Mix
Track Name: Say Ahh [Feat. Trey Songz]
Hey girl its your birfday
You look 21 but say that your thirt-ay
game like Joe, that’s my forte
Pop champagne for ya girl if you thirstay
Lets get drunk, I want ya in the worst way
When I get drunk, I get a lil flirty
At the bar, I’m only touching first base
I hit homeruns so we can skip the foreplay
When I say I call ya it will be Today
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday
party like I’m in the NCAA
Got chemistry its in our DNA
Lets do it everyway

Say ahh like I’m the dentist
On facebook I add ya to my friendlist
You dig my swag like NIKE gotta check this
Girl you can work the block call ya Tetris
Just like Nappy Boy I could use a kiss kiss
Hit up Santa’s lap to add ya to my wish list
Ask Pete Troy over you we reminiscence
You can be me sidekick I’ll be you apprentice
No wing man I need no assistance
Never before have I been so persistent
I’m out the club hope ya wanna roll with this
Drop ya guard your piece de resistance
Resist this
Track Name: Men Lie Women Lay
Only lying I do will be up in yo bed
Get under the covers girl and give me head
I drink coffee and I fuck pussy
Beat it up till its purple like good Kushi
On the Jersey shore they call it getting smushy
You ain’t Kevin Drennan, hope you trim that bushy
Enough about lyin’ its time to spit some truth
A verbal cosmopolitan but hold the vermouth
Come from the land of Camden yes the home of Ruth
Just a white collar worker but my mouth is uncouth
Full of swear words or playin skin flute
I’d tell ya to cuff ya girls but the point is moot
Yeah Ima get em

(I don’t freestyle much but) music is my crutch
Got my girls skippin’ beats cuz’ they double dutch
Jump rope like Enigma a return to innocence
Down cherries by the bomb or shoot coffee-mintz
Tell a girl “Get over Here” like Scorpiaaan
Sonic boom her like Guile the American
Down to shock and awe yall call me Blanca
American gladiator Larry Cszonka
Or “Two Scoops” Johnson not Raisin Bran
Ask Hall ‘n Oates they know I’m a Rich Man
(Make it Rain) Like a 401k plan
Evolved from a Geico caveman (Bitches)

No Toy Story but I’m Buzzed like Lightyear
These rhymes a hobby but I got a career
I climb the corporate ladder sporting Durkl gear
A CFO at 26 and I still shotgun beers
Just a rook in the game got no name for myself
Fuck a ring Jonas Brothas smush a bitch for myself
I’m a pool shark, I double somersault
Take a cue from me or get shot then chalked up
5-0 etch yo sketch working with a etch a sketch
Im 80s baby I make ya pussy Stretch (Armstrong)
Like a rubber band
Get a girl in my town she probly second hand (Ha)
Track Name: W&L (I really Mean It)
This aint no Dip shit, this a Dips rip
set sail the Dips ship (I really mean it)
This Flav and Dubbs shit, come get ya fix
This shit the remix (I really mean it)
Bust out my bag o trix, Dubbz is captain hick
give ya the deep six (I really mean it)
Six six six, the mark of the beast
Mean a beat deceased, at least (I really mean it)
Get down in bum fuck
Where Dragons Skull fuck
Pop bottles of Pain
Andre Cold Duck
Reside in Velva,
We talking’ Aqua
We steal bitches
And we aint sorry, brah (I really mean it)
Grew up on Dip Set
Chris still in debt
Never stop us we
Smoke Marijuana cigarettes
Right up on Diamond Hill
Pop Chris Linz pills
up in the co-op
Dont pay for refills (I really mean it)
At phi kap mill, we never drop a bill
But get some pussy, still (I really mean it)
East Lex keg shop
Right at the traffic stop
We Chesse trail blazers
See you at the cops stop
Smut Columnists
Drunks never get the gist
Just give up the pussy
And ya make the hot list
We sling dope sacks
50 bones no tax
Natty Light case dough
And maybe some Big Macs

Baby Huey (Verse 2)
Big Macs McNuggets
Blow cash say fuggit
Ballin like the Denver Thuggets
Leave the haters kickin buckets
Rep Indy Cashville
Take it back to Diamond Hill
I really fuckin mean it
Showin yall whats really real
Morning after vomits
Whyd I jagerbomb it
Murk out in a civic
Colored like a can of Comet
Ebrakes all day
Beruit all night
Where all the hotties at
Following that hard white
Nobody to someone on account of an ounce
Didnt know me yesterday now she ready to pounce
Baby snorts to much
Nose like Matt Fink
But she gets such a rush
Smellin that good stink
More scores than brees or Peyton if we talkin in domes
108 henry street only place I called home
Dough in the sock drawer
Turbo was the top whore
Dro trips to Bmore
You pump I pour (no homo)
Rens Explorer steal shells
Koch week, jail cell
Fnuts got the hair gel
Dano bumpin Big L (really mean it)
B-rock number 25
Eddy talkin hella jive
Yellow box he seen it
(I really mean it)
Blue puke minks rally
Stop In dog crack alley
Calvin Bane piece of shit
and this shit a remix
Kosky was the best prof
Legalize it peter tosh
Frat basement pit mosh
ain’t Osh Kosh B’Gosh